The Stars Are Yours

I looked to the sky
And for a second
Every star seemed to shine for me.

Like a searchlight,
Their light pointed toward something
And I gathered the courage to chase after it.

The crunch of fallen leaves crushed underfoot
Filled the night's silence with susurration 
As I ran, not knowing what I was running for

But I knew I had to.

All my instincts rung as one.
My breath looked like clouds in the wintry air
And my feet ached, but I didn’t waver

I kept my eyes forward or toward the sky
Following the path revealed in brilliance
And the stars shined ever brighter. 

A river appeared
And every star, the voluminous yellow moon
Reflected clearly on the black water
And I was reflected in it too.

Every star, the yellow moon,
And I, all painted onto nature’s canvas
With such harmony,
A single tear began to shed

And so that tear grew and split
Until I was thunderstruck
And it all came pouring from me like rain,
Every ounce of regret and shame

And pain, and fear, and sadness,
And joy, awe, love, passion
Like a rain that felt as if it would never cease,
But it was as unceasing as a breath

And I took a deep one,
Let the tears fall into ripples
And at the moment of impact,
All was distorted now

But life suddenly felt so beautiful.

I dipped my hands into the river
And cradled a star so gently
And within it, I saw myself
So awash with hope and forgiveness
I never knew why I never thought this before:

Why was I never this kind to myself?

Carefully, I released the star back into the water,
My hands roaring cold
But having felt so enveloped by warmth,
I couldn’t care to notice.
My hands ached but I was alive.

I looked to the sky
And felt reassured
Because every star that ever shined,
Will shine as bright as they did tonight
And as that yellow moon slipped away to slumber,
I finally looked back and saw what a life I was given. 

A gift, it's all been such a gift.

-k.r.r.

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