In/Out

A bitter shame coursed through my veins
Like a river, a flux of disdain
That led to a miasmic waterfall that did not end,
Just swallowed into a bottomless pit
Where light and sound could not reconcile.

A terrible itch arose
And I scratched at myself until I bled
But to no avail, the horrid fuzziness remained
Like ants overwhelming and consuming me
Reducing giants to bones, bones to imprints in the dirt.

Nothing was truly amiss
But I felt that dread so severely
As if that awful thing was grafted to my soul
And so it threatened to become me,
Keeping me alive only to make me bend and break.

The world became dim.
I am in need of light,
But the light of a miracle
I  can only perform myself
Because no other person can do this for me.

Desperately,
I buried my hands into my chest
And tried to rip free that hidden light.
Everyday this ritual followed
But I never held it in my hands once.

And so I gave up.
Things have been better since. 

-k.r.r.