I Wipe My Own Tears

I hold a dagger aimed at my own back,
Pressing the point gently and firmly
Enough to not draw blood,
But still enough to make an enemy of myself.
My feet digs deeply into the dirt
But my other hand reaches for the sky.
I want to go higher,
So why do I keep myself rooted to this fate?

Futility is born from self-refusal.
I could have all I wanted
If I just let go,
Let the metal fall to the earth
And released my grip on the world,
Stop listening to ball and chain wisdom
And just believed in something like Providence:

To take a leap
And land in fresh waters,
Watch the sunlight dancing in the ripples,
And see in myself not the failings of past incarnations,
But what a gift they gave me:
This perspective.

I would never see the world so clearly
Were it not for all I withstood
And all that I loved.
I don’t need to take the scenic route right now.
Let me hold it all in my hands.
Let me take this fate
And guide it with grace. 

I must forgive myself.
I’ve scarred my vessel for far too long.
Let me wipe away the man in the mirror’s tears
As he does for me.
We cry together;
Not for the last time,
But there’s no need to hold our breath anymore.
The sweetest release
And the warmest embrace. 

-k.r.r.